Hello beautiful people!
Let’s heal our broken hearts.
(Yeah, I know, I know. I *just* asked you to breathe fully yesterday. Me and my unreasonable demands. Do it anyway. You can roll your eyes while you do it. But take a good, deep, fully-present breath so you can connect with parts of your body in which you’ve probably stored some emotional energy about today’s topic.)
Ready?
I want you to forgive show business for breaking your heart.
Let’s back up.
You chose a career path that is — by design — built on nothing objective. Your entire trajectory, the timeline and your tier jumps, all of it at some point is totally in someone else’s hands.
You have been SO SURE a role is yours and it’s ripped away from you. You have given something your all only to receive nothing in return. And here’s the worst part: You keep going back to showbiz after it breaks your heart again and again and again.
It’s like an abusive relationship that will not end.
And today you’re gonna forgive the industry for breaking your heart. More importantly, you’re gonna forgive yourself for going back to the bastard again and again.
Today’s work: Break out your journal and do a little letter writing. Your letters can be specific (to the crappy agent who screwed you, the evil casting director who called you talentless, or the sleazy producer who still owes you money). Your letters can be general (to the Hollywood machine as it is, to the patriarchy, to the global perception of artists).
You can do it Festivus style and create a whole list of grievances if you want to. Of course, you can share whatever you’re moved to share in the comments area below.
Really get off your chest the mean things you may want to say to this business. Leave nothing out about how you feel about the horrific stuff showbiz has put you through. And absolutely most importantly — seriously, do NOT skip this step — get specific about how your continuing to “go back for more” is not a sign of weakness, of addiction to abuse, or even of a slightly unhealthy way of receiving love. It is simply a function of your chosen profession. It’s no different than a carpenter knowing splinters will be a part of the job. Get clinical about this. It’s freeing.
Feel free to ask yourself what you may have been looking for in this business. It’s not its job to love you like that! Whatever you do today, get real about how Hollywood has done you wrong, based mostly off your own expectations about something it NEVER promised you would be true.
And then we’re going to accept the apology that will never come.
Read that again.
See, Hollywood *can’t* apologize for being the animal that it is. (And look, I know I’ve chosen rather off-brand, inflammatory language here. That’s by design. It’s how we activate the parts of our artist-selves that need the wake-up call for the forgiveness we’ll now be able to soak up.)
We’re now going to accept the apology we never got. The apology that we will never get.
And when we can forgive showbiz for breaking our hearts, and when we can forgive ourselves for going back for more, honey, we can forgive anyone for anything and that’s the most freeing thing there is on this healing journey to the next tier!
Start there, gorgeous ones. It’s a lot, I know. If you feel resistance here, note that we’re expecting others to invest in US in ways that we’re possibly unwilling to invest in ourselves. We’re energetically telling the buyers we’re not worth the time, the energy, the gentleness (because we’re not putting any of that work in, on ourselves). All the more reason this work is important.
Extra credit: Double down on the self-care. See yourself like an elite athlete in training for the performance of your life. You ice. You soak. You get massages. You REST. You’re putting in the work even if you’re seeing others do work that looks different and maybe feeling as though you’re not working hard by comparison. You are. You’re here. You’re showing up for yourself. Now be sure to take care of yourself too!
This is the work that changes at its core your relationship with your greatest frenemy. After this, it’s a whole new world.
’til tomorrow… stay ninja!
