Hello beautiful people!
Let’s get social!
Stick with me. I promise, I’ve got a way to make this work for everyone.
First, some definitions. Most people believe extroverts are gregarious and introverts are shy. Nope. That’s not it at all. That’s how it often manifests, but that’s not what’s going on. Extroverts are energized by interaction with others; introverts are depleted. So, when Keith and I would host Thirsty Third Thursday or Hollywood Happy Hour, I could stay all night because I just kept getting more and more fired up and inspired and excited about life… but he’s got a window of a few hours tops for experiencing that energy. So we set up a support system that respects both our speeds.
We would have a very quiet day before we’d slowly head out for TTT or HHH. We’d sleep in. We may take a walk to the day spa. We were still. We were not in hyper-focused work mode. We were not in meetings. We would’ve walled off pre-event downtime. At some point in prep for the night, we’d discuss a time by which Keith could say he’s ready to go and I wouldn’t feel as though my night got cut short but he wouldn’t feel as if he’d been tortured.
At the event, we would check in with each other periodically. Sometimes we were able to stay longer than the agreed-upon OUT time because — just by knowing he’s respected and honored for his need to be done with people — Keith often finds he’s doing okay, energetically. But if he was ready to go, we’d go. We would bookend the event with a very late start to our Friday morning. We wouldn’t speak much (Keith because he’s replenishing, me because I’m hoarse from all the laughing, talking, and belting out Pat Benatar). We definitely wouldn’t have clients in-house and we may take another walk to the day spa. We *always* allow for recharging after such an intense period of being ON.
Over the years, we’ve come to understand that being ON has many speeds. Honoring those speeds is important. Even more important is recovery from working the schmooze muscle. Whether that workout took place in person or on a day of back-to-back Zoom meetings. Heck, even Miss Extrovert McKnowsEverybody with all the Air signs over here has a well that needs replenishing from time to time. We all do.
So, because a next-tier life requires networking (Augh! There’s that word! She said it! She said it! Ack! It’s so… icky!!!), we’re gonna start building a muscle for living on-brand. Because it’s not just networking, ultimately. As you live your life, you’re gonna bump into execs at dinner parties your colleagues throw. You’re gonna have impromptu meetings with buyers. You’re gonna have to maintain your energy on-camera for hours even when you’re not the featured/speaking square on the Zoom. You’re gonna see a friend having coffee… with a next-tier agent you’ve been researching. You’re gonna hit proper networking events and have to sparkle even after you’re exhausted. You’re gonna do tedious hours of press. You’re gonna live a public life. Hopefully a lot of it.
It can only improve your every encounter with your buyers and industry pros (who do live and breathe and walk amongst creatives and other actor-type folks) to have a toned muscle that leaves you feeling ready to engage, to live on-brand, to do that magical thing that only you can do — without a lot of ramp-up, a quick warm-up, or even any advance notice.
I want you to experience the joy of signing autographs. Of posing for photos with fans. Of saying yes when Oprah calls. (This *all* involves believing you’re enough, by the way.) And, before then, I want you to experience the joy of having said yes to a mixer that gets you chatting with your hell-yes rep, whom you’d never have met if you had stayed home to “update your show bible” or “do research on targets” instead.
(Totally putting those in quotation marks because you know you rarely do the thing you said you were going to do when you used it as the reason for skipping the networking event. Amirite?)
part of her job as required in her three-picture deal for The Hunger Games.
Today’s work: Seek out a networking event and put it on your schedule. Yup. Before these 100 days are over, I want you “out there” in some shape or form. Whether it’s a mixer, a panel discussion, a screening with Q&A talkback, a Clubhouse chat, or other schmoozefest, get it on the books. Show up with a buddy. Hitting events with a wingman always alleviates the pressure! (Yes, even virtually. Even if you have a buddy you text during the event to help you remember you are enough, that counts!)
If you’re new to networking the SMFA way, I have a few tips to help you get through it all stored here. Then choose a low-stakes networking event (go as high-stakes as you feel comfortable, because this is meant to be a learning experience but you don’t want to stretch too far) like a student film premiere for the department, friends, and family at a nearby college; a panel discussion with non-target buyers or non-buyers altogether at SAG-AFTRA Foundation; opening night reception at a short film festival; closing night party at a community theatre; a fundraiser art auction with wine and cheese; an improv jam at a friend’s comedy studio; open mic night; a staged reading series of works-in-progress; a craft class audit; even a casual meetup you schedule with several friends with whom you’ve pledged to spend more time! Whatever you choose, make it happen.
And yes, these things are still happening even in quarantine times. They’re different, but they’re happening. Because ours is a relationship business. Always has been. Always will be.
Ideally, you’ll hit at least three things before we reach Day 100. If you’re in Los Angeles, you’re in luck because I have a master list of must-do items in this category over at the SMFA Hot Sheets area (chapter 28). Please suggest additions below and of course share your non-LA hookups as well! If you want to check out what sorts of things nearby film commissions put on for your area, a great starting point is here. When you get the search results of commissions near you, click through to their websites, get on their mailing lists, check out their events calendars, start hitting the virtual events for which you don’t have to be on camera first. Warm up. Build the muscle.
Wherever you go, go as a student of how the next tier works in these environments. Don’t set yourself up for failure by going to a “too cool” event, feeling out of place, drinking too much, and coming home saying “Never again!” about the whole thing. Of course, on the other end of the spectrum, don’t stay within your comfort zone and only talk to your friends, thereby not really working the muscle to the next tier. We’re looking to build a muscle for being authentically ON. That way it won’t exhaust you when you have to use this skill… and you may just ignite a creative collaboration, connect with a buyer, or even collect a new person for “your five”!
Where ya’ headed? I wanna know!
’til tomorrow… stay ninja!
