Hello beautiful people!
Let’s get strategic about how we spend our mental energy.
Here, jam on some more mindset stuff with me.
When you get more practiced at labeling what you’re letting your brain consume, you get pickier about what you feed it. Especially when we run this all through the filter of the “How would you behave if you were the best in the world at what you do?” question, we find there are toxins and fillers and other non-essentials getting mixed in with the fuel required to feed its creative potential.
Ask yourself, what good can come of that one last check of email or social networking *right* before lights-out at night? Nothing. No good. Because either there’s something you were waiting to hear on that you still haven’t heard back about and now you’re cranky or someone comes at you with a need and now you feel obligated to respond… or force yourself not to respond but find your sleeping-brain is busy dealing with what you left unanswered anyway.
Consider making the last hour before bed all about a magnesium salt bath, a walk, reading for pleasure, petting the cat, getting in the floor and stretching, meditating, journaling, getting frisky, anything other than “one last lap” of tech. Similarly, see how long you can go without hopping on tech first thing in the morning. Or build the muscle for checking for audition notifications ONLY but letting everything else sit unanswered ’til after you’ve done a morning non-negotiable or two.
With a morning that’s all about intention-setting and those non-negotiables that you’ve pledged to your best self, your entire day is more powerfully effective and pleasant (and that’s more castable).
If you must use your gadgets within an hour of bedtime, consider using the “night shift” setting to create a less intense glow of light coming from the screen. Use amber glasses (like Gunnar) or install the F.lux app. Getting your brain ready for the rest ahead makes even the shortest night’s sleep more restful!
Consider disabling non-essential notifications (and get really good at labeling what’s essential). Consider putting all “tempting” apps into a folder on your phone labeled “BEST ME?” so you’re choosing to go into those apps *mindful* of whether that choice aligns with next-tier you. Consider uninstalling some apps on your phone that are intended to bring you closer to your next-tier goals but that ultimately put your brain in hamster-wheel mode, set you off into the comparison game, or turn you reactive rather than inspired in your work.
Aspire to rock it more like we did when it was all happening at 2400 bps (yes, I said 2600 bps in the vid; it’s been like three decades since that was standard and OMG I so totally almost re-shot this whole thing when that occurred to me but I’m building my muscle for letting “typos” stand without deciding it means I suck, so, there you have it).
Tweet it: My communication is purposeful. Filled with intention for my next tier. Inspired, not reactive.
Once you’ve set boundaries, prepare for them to be tested. You’ll find folks come out of the woodwork to get you to stay more connected to your lifeline of technology. Heck, Facebook was designed to be addictive. And people get weird when they find out you’re not “doing” Instagram or Twitter or whatever it is they’re most into. Everyone wants reinforcement that their addiction is justified. Your “not needing” of it is unsettling to them. Tell your FOMO that it’s just trying to distract you from your real work: getting to the next tier.
Not only is almost everyone — by default — on DND status in my iPhone, but I have also built a muscle not to respond when folks reach out in ways I prefer they don’t, like through private messaging at social media. I am ridiculously accessible in very specific ways and I have thousands of clients all over the world. There are many more tens of thousands of folks who want to be actors and have heard I have good information but perhaps never consider they could sign up for my mailing list, buy a book, or bump into any of my available resources. They want to make contact. They want my attention. They want it now.
The level of intimacy of outreach near-strangers will utilize is boundary-busting already, and the sense of entitlement of some is quite disturbing. Just watch the way wannabes around the world reply on Twitter to casting directors they follow, consider what’s also going on in private messages in all that casting director’s social media spaces and then — when it comes to me — multiply that, since my work is not just casting but also sharing information on how this all works. I tell you this not so you’ll say, “Oh man, Bon. I so *get* why you have to set boundaries in communication,” but because the next-tier version of YOU has fans all over the world and receives fanmail (lots of it), and requests for advice, for help, for autographed photos, for tickets to your premiere, you name it. Just know when you reply, you reinforce the behavior. So once you fish out a message from your “message request” area at Instagram from a non-contact and reply to it, you’ve opened the door for more of that type of contact. Be really sure you’re ready for that door to BE open before you open it. It’s like inviting a vampire in. You can’t undo it.
If you instead develop blindness for that sort of too-familiar contact, you’ll find they’ll eventually figure out they need to go through your agent or publicist. And that’s ultimately what you want. Because while almost everyone is normal and nice and truly interested in your work from an authentic place, there are full-on flippin’ whackadoodles out there who will cross the line into stalkerville and of course that can go scary wrong in extreme cases. At your highest tiers, you will have to contend with this, so developing policy NOW for how much contact you will make in return, how much of your personal life you will share, and how many of your tech-free zones or tech-free hours you will let slide is important.
Again, all of this prepaving is in service of protecting your brain from clutter that prevents it from doing its best work! Life is so much bigger than what we consume from a screen — especially if much of OUR life’s work is about creating what goes on screens for others to consume!
Here’s your new mantra when it comes to hopping on social: Creator, not consumer. You’re welcome.
Today’s work: Do an inventory of where you’re spending your mental energy, when it comes to technology. Specifically label what of your time is spent in reactive mode vs. inspired creative mode. Log how much of the notification-noise flying at you is actually propelling your next-tier goals forward vs. distracting you from, say, writing another scene for your demo reel or scoping out a networking event to connect with a target or doing show bible work to get clearer on one. Use a service like Unroll.me to filter mailing list subscriptions you feel you cannot unsub from (not the BonBlast, of course; that’s always inbox-worthy inspo). If Unroll.me’s TOS doesn’t turn you on (or if you like your stuff *way* GDPR compliant), here… are a few… alternatives… to check out.
Consider removing some apps from your phone, using the Do Not Disturb function, and setting boundaries that will serve you now and all the way through to the next tier! Test yourself out on the “waking up without an alarm” thing, if you dare. Receiving confirmation that your brain IS in fact this powerful and easily trained is an amazing thing! Frighteningly amazing. You’ll get addicted to discovering what else you can train it to do for you.
Watch as mindless procrastination becomes non-existent in your life, with the setting up of rituals, the elimination of interruptions, and the respect your brain feels over you having set such healthy boundaries for its creative work. It’s inspiring! Enjoy the ridiculous amount of productivity that swirls through you just by setting these standards for how you treat yourself… and how others treat you by extension.
Remember not to beat yourself up or label yourself as “bad” at any of this. You may just be “new” at it. No one would yell at a toddler who is learning to walk for getting it wrong. That stumble or ass-down on the fluffy diaper moment is never met with the mean stuff you may be tempted to say to yourself as you remap your brain to be next-tier ready. Just do more good work than bad, here. It will pay off!
And remember there’s no such thing as a bad day when you’re living your dreams. You’ll have challenging days, humbling days, painful days, stressful days, yes. All of that. But because you’re LTD (living the dream), you’re in the right place. And that means it’s a good day.
We’re laying the groundwork for some good task-level work coming up here next, so celebrate yourself for getting your brain in shape for being its most effective creative machine… all while celebrating the joy this journey has to offer! Ah… delicious!
’til tomorrow… stay ninja!
