Ah… that good ol’ dispassionate labeling intersects with flow theory today.
You know Get in Gear for the Next Tier is filled with opportunities for dispassionate labeling (read, listen/watch, if it’s been a while since you’ve practiced this from our 100-day journey together). Welp, so is flow theory!
Today’s work: Ask yourself if you’ve gotten good at dispassionate labeling yet. Is fear a compass for you? Or is it still something scary and to be avoided at all costs? Really examine whether you’re giving yourself every advantage for as much creativity as is possible for you right now.
Well, I think I’ve gotten pretty good at dispassionate labeling in regards to all things creative, but I still fear fear in my personal life, and I definitely need to fix that shit.
Le sigh.
Start with kinder language on this, hon. How can you frame exactly what you’ve said here in a more positive, “it’s on its way to a healing” way? You’ll get there, girl. No “le sigh” needed. It’s big work and you’re tackling it really early in life. That? It’s awesome!
So, circling back to this because I didn’t have any notes in my notebook about doing this day and didn’t realize I had already watched it. And I think I read your comment before, but was having a hard time being easier on myself.
I feel like I’ve gone through so much in the last few months. A lot of it really trying, emotionally difficult, and uncomfortable. But I remembered what my acting coach said about sitting in the discomfort, and leaning in to it so you can come out the other side stronger. So I’ve started doing that, and in the process I’ve been able to work my dispassionate labeling muscles.
I’ve started meditating every morning, and I’m learning to forgive myself for my mistakes. I’m learning to let go of the things that I previously (unknowingly) allowed to dictate and affect my actions, my decisions, and my life. And right this moment, I am celebrating learning all of this now. Because you’re absolutely right Bonnie, I am still young. I am doing this much earlier than many people do, and I’m going to be a pro at it in relatively no time.
Also, I love the quote about ambition. I wrote it down twice in my notebook, because it just struck a cord. Recently, I’ve noticed myself questioning my motives a few times when I think about my goals and what I want to achieve in this career. But that quote, YES.
“Ambition is required to be a creative professional.”
No need to question my ambition, my goals, and my drive. It’s only going to help me be a creative professional. Nothing has changed since I became clear on what I want to achieve, and what I want to do.
I! Love! This! Soooooooo much! 🙂 Thank you for circling back on this day, Alexandra. So damn good!
Picking up noise from outisde of me is one thing I am very good at. I have always been able to feel people’s feelings almost instantly.
The other day I arrived on set and I din’t feel in my flow- I felt stuck, irritated, annoyed. For no reason.
I was making my way from makeup and started tapping and cleared some “stuff”. And then was talking to a couple of members of the crew. They, too were feeling stressed and I realised I was picking up on the crew’s energy (noise). I was able to dispassionately label it.
Then one of the costume people handed me a pair of HUGE CRAZY sunglasses to wear in my scene. I started laughing so much- literally crying with laughter because I looked so funny in them. There was my release and then the rest of the day was AMAZING!
Being able to see how clearly flow is always working in my life is wonderful.
And I love- “Fear is my compass!” This is so good. As I become better at acknowlodging my feelings/emotions I have noticed that I have this low- grade fear/anxiety that crops up from time to time. So quiet that people can’t see it and has become so familiar to me that I just think of it as normal. This is the stuff that is interesting me. And the dispassionate labeling is coming in very handy. I have become so much better at looking at this stuff and not thinking that I am “bad” or “wrong” because I am feeling it. I am not all the way there yet….but this too is SO OKAY.
And ambition? I have this in bucket loads.
Yipeeeeee!
This! Is! So! Damn! Good! Andromeda! LOVE THIS! And you.
I am building stronger dispassionate labeling in my mindset and it is an up and down process. There are moments when I am able to have a nurturing and effective dialogue with myself about the emotion coming up and the emotionally driven/fearful instinctual response to a situation: there are other moments in which I ‘care a lot’ and the emotion overrides. In these circumstances it takes a more work to self-love and coach myself into dispassionate labeling and breaking through my response to a situation.
Note: in my audition work there are days when I celebrate my mistakes, my presence/ showing up and In which I am full of love and support for my artist. Adversely, there are other days, in which my inner coach is really hard on myself and doesnt want to let go of the mistakes. < <This just happened to me last week. Literally, one audition after the other. Day one: strong tools in place. Day Two: all hell breaking loose in my mind and heart.
What I took from these two experiences is: I AM STILL LEARNING! Still building that foundation. Ultimately I am learning so much from each experience, and I need to have these experiences to learn from in order to strengthen my foundation!!
Utilizing the tools from GIG; my spiritual learnings and practice; and my work with a therapist, I AM actively building this stronger foundational mindset and core self- love and acceptance in order to tackle more and more of these challenging situations. I love that Flow theory reinforces and supports this learning and offers another tool to help me to strengthen the relationship I have with my fear: welcoming it, unpacking it and allowing the stages of flow to unfold around it, ultimately turning the tight grip of fear into a giddy thrilling, freedom. And all the while being so gentle, and loving and supportive with myself as the learning process ebbs and flows <3
The word I’m not reading in your post, and the mentality I think you need, is “muscle.”
I’m not seeing you using the exercise reference, and by that I mean that I’m actively seeing you avoid using the terms that are the strongest visual we have for what you’re experiencing.
Why is that, do you think?
Thank you for this reminder Keith. This mindset practice IS a muscle which I am building. As I re-read this post and swap out the term ‘foundation’ for muscle: “i need to have these experiences to strengthen this muscle,” I see and acknowledge that by avoiding the strong visual reference, I am making it easier for myself to avoid accountability for my growth.
Thus, I avoid acknowledging when I am overworking the muscle, or just using the same ‘weights’ targeting the same muscle group, over and over again. And I make it easier for myself to slip into self-sabotage and self-deprication.
Also, by not using the mentality of strengthening the muscle, as I mentioned in an earlier comment, I avoid the necessity of recovery and push through to burn out and unhelpful habits.
Finally, I allow myself to become an unhealthy self-coach by pushing through and muscling through, rather than allowing the full Flow process to occur.
I am going to simmer with this mentality and create a phrase/ mantra to post above my desk as an active reminder for myself.
Isn’t it great to see that so clearly? When we think about those folks who show up to workouts but do the same thing every time and never really BUILD the muscles well, we get that there are ways to do these workouts of mindset without causing any real change. 🙂 Glad Keith’s nudge helped! He’s smaht. 😉