I’m a big-time Mara Casey fan. When she was first in casting, I was still acting, and I always wanted to go in for projects she was casting. When I became a casting director, I looked to Mara as a model of “actor turned CD” who approached her job with a spirit of fun and professionalism, always welcoming actors in to do a great job. Mara is now an acting coach here in LA and she has contributed a hilarious (and oh, so true) account of auditioning anxiety and the choice of focus.
What Are You Focusing On?
Your audition is Friday at 4:30pm at Warner Bros. for a new series regular role on a popular television show. You live in Santa Monica and you have to be at your job (in The Valley) at 5:30pm. You are totally psyched because you’ve never met this particular casting director and you know she works on many projects simultaneously and the sides are great! It’s about this girl… and she loves this guy… and you two just got engaged… anyway. When you receive the material, you cancel your plans for the evening and chain smoke while walking in circles talking to yourself. Trying different inflections, thinking up clever bits. Your dog thinks you are crazy. After about two and a half hours of this you go to the closet to find the perfect dress for what’s going to be a slam-dunk audition. You look at the clock; it’s 11:55pm. Your heart starts to beat faster knowing that in just 17 hours you will be knocking ’em dead. Knocking ’em dead! God you need this job.
Audition day and The 405 N. is moving at about 13 miles an hour… Sepulveda Pass is backed up as well. You’re smoking and smoking and doing and redoing your lines. There’s some texting while driving and additional mascara application. You can’t wait to do that really funny beat you thought up in the bathroom last night that’s so funny!!
It’s 4:10pm. Just exit at Coldwater and take Riverside.
The security guard at the Forest Lawn gate doesn’t have your name on his list, so you have to drive across the street and park and walk back while he calls your name in, hoping that by the time you make it back (in your very uncomfortable shoes) your name will be in the system. It’s 4:42pm. You’re soaked with sweat when you reach Bldg. 134. The waiting room is filled with actors who look just like you. Wait — some are much, much better looking. In fact, as you look around — everyone is better looking. Than you. As you sign in, you scan the other actors’ names and their agencies. Innovative, ICM, CAA, WMA, Endeavor. Christ — there’s that girl who just starred in that thing and is on the cover of this month’s Maxim with her ta-tas propped up for all of Hollywood to masturb — appreciate. You have to go to the bathroom but there’s a line and you are one person away from being called in to read. So you sit. Squirm. Look at your lines. Look at the clock. Mop the sweat. Shitshitshit. The actor before you is still in the room. You can hear everyone through the paper thin walls… laughing, laughing, laughing. You think to yourself, “How can I make them like me? How can I transform myself into exactly what they are looking for?” You tell yourself you have to get this job.
It’s 5:10pm. The door opens and the casting director hugs the girl leaving. The door closes. You sit. And think about everything that’s on your plate. Everything you feel is at stake. Everything but what your character wants.
Let’s try this again, shall we?
Your audition is still at 4:30pm at Warner Bros. and you still have to report to work at 5:30pm. Any possibility of requesting an earlier audition time? Let’s say your agent got you a 2:30pm slot. Great. You don’t have a script, but you have your sides and your agent got you the character breakdown for all the characters that appear in the script. More information. Sweet. You read the scene once. You then ask yourself what you want, how you will get it, what will happen if you don’t get what you want and how you feel about everyone in the scene. The stage directions let you know its pouring rain and you are late to meet your fiancé and his wealthy parents (whom you are meeting for the first time) and that they hold a candle for his childhood sweetheart. You look like a drenched rat from the rain. Good stuff. Information. The dialogue in the scene is you and your fiancé sharing the good news of your recent engagement. You know from the character breakdown that you and your fiancé are very much in love with each other. You are putting yourself through law school by stripping two nights a week. Wait. Let’s switch that to: You are putting yourself through law school by working in a local coffee shop. You are at the top of your class in academics. You are kind and warm and volunteer at a local pet shelter. You are strong-willed and your parents raised you to be polite. You know the tone of the show because you’ve seen a few episodes. In this instance, you have no unanswered questions about the material. You memorize your lines, but have every intention of bringing your sides in the room tomorrow. As you drift off to sleep, you know exactly what you’ll wear.
Morning of the audition, you’ve just returned from yoga class. While you are taking a shower, you warm up your voice imagining if anyone heard or saw you, they’d think you were nuts. Your dog sits in the bathroom listening to your warm-up and thinks you are nuts. On the drive to Warner Bros., you remind yourself that you don’t need this job. Acting brings you great joy and you are getting an opportunity to do what you love. It’s a gift to tell another person’s story. You concentrate on the moment your character has before entering the scene, what your character wants and your first line of the scene. You know the emotional journey your character will take (because you know your lines), but you don’t concentrate on that. That will come, because you will be present and listening. When you arrive to sign in, the waiting room is packed with pretty faces and too much perfume. There’s that chick that’s on the cover of Maxim. In this lighting, you can see she has a faint mustache and her boob job is lopsided. And oh lord the bottom of her feet are filthy. This makes you smile. You find a quiet corner away from the audition room — but close enough to hear your name called. You close your eyes and breathe…
You are in the taxi inching along to your destination and it’s pouring rain… you’re already ten minutes late and your cell phone is dead — but you are hopeful and a little anxious… you look down at your hand and admire the stunning diamond ring…
Stretch and breathe. Stretch and breathe.
If you read this and you are an actor, please know that the only thing you can control is your audition. If there are any questions you have regarding the material — and it informs you to make a more specific choice — by all means ask. The casting director is cranky? Maybe she hasn’t eaten since 6am and her boyfriend broke up with her the night before. The director seems restless? Maybe she is late for a location scout. The producer is texting and not looking at you? Maybe his son is sick and he’s getting an update from his wife. Take nothing personal. Be present, listen, and for God’s sake never plan a beat. You’ll be anticipating the beat long before it arrives and because of this it will most likely fall flat. After you’ve auditioned, throw your sides in the trash and move on with your life.
What could I possibly add to this hilarious and entertaining piece from Mara? Just a link over to a column called “Why Casting Isn’t Personal,” which certainly goes hand-in-hand with the wonderful message here. Thanks, Mara, for a great essay! As a former actor, I, myself, had way too many, “I’ve been there,” moments while reading it. Amazing how that anxiety feels so very real when you’re bathed in it.
About Mara Casey
From 1986 to 1996, Mara Casey had a busy and successful stage career in Chicago. Mara was also a great waitress and dog walker. From 1998 to 2007 Mara worked in casting in LA. She and her partner Jami Rudofsky cast Gilmore Girls — among many other projects — for seven seasons together. Mara currently runs and owns The Archibald/Casey Studio (with Craig Archibald) where she teaches on-camera classes, professional work-out classes for the working actor, cold reading, and audition technique. You may email Mara at stopacting@gmail.com.
This contribution originally ran at Bonnie Gillespie’s online column on February 1, 2008.