Louise Hay was the grandmother of all mind-body healing woo-woo-ness.
I bought my first Louise Hay book in the ’80s and it’s a workbook that I filled with really horrific words about myself. I grabbed that book off the shelf a few years back to review what I had written and it’s shocking that I’ve grown into an adult with ANY ability to have a body that carts this brain around when the latter has been so incredibly cruel to the former for so long, and starting so young.
Thing is, when it starts that young, it’s often not even OURS.
A way that we can restore the relationship we have with ourselves at the mind-body level is through something Louise Hay calls mirror work.
It can be… confronting. But boy is it life-changing.
Have you ever done this? Will you start now? I’d love to know. It’ll make you feel things, for sure.
And sometimes emotions are inconvenient. Feel them anyway. Pushing them down thinking you’ll feel ’em when the timing is better is to train your brain to turn un-felt feelings into disease.
One of the amazing things mirror work does is give space for us to feel those un-felt feelings fully while reminding ourselves of how ENOUGH we truly are. Right now. As we are. Today.
If you’re new to this transformational exercise, here is the affirmation script most commonly used for mirror work. Feel free to adapt it to your own needs.
Oh, I know. You could revolutionize who you are in the world for everyone who knows and loves you. You could rewrite the story about who you’re meant to be in life. You could destabilize the culture of your family and friendgroup altogether.
And you could also be really, truly happy perhaps for the first time in life… irrespective of conditions.
That’s big.
If you can place a hand mirror by your bed and make this ritual a part of your waking mind-body check-in work, that would be amazing.
What I’d love for you to add to this work, pulled from Abraham-Hicks and the unconditional love teachings is to say to yourself, as you look at yourself in the mirror, “I am 100% responsible for how I feel.”
Here’s why this is important.
We often expect conditions to be met in order for us to be happy. We expect results to create joy. Certainly, they *can* but those are temporary dopamine hits that come from someone doing something or saying something that gives us a rush… and eventually, it goes away, the joy dulls from it, and we’re forever chasing the dragon of that high.
Unconditional love — specifically, finding joy and happiness irrespective of certain conditions being met — is key to aligning with the best possible conditions throughout our lives. Letting everyone else off the hook for how WE feel? It’s the most powerful element in being lovable, castable, bookable, signable, and OMG blissed-out-happy EVER!
Now, what about when we — despite building the muscle for a better relationship with ourselves — go on LOOP in a distractingly annoying way?
Since one of the features creatives and our magical, brilliant brains share is that we can get things running on loop and find it difficult to reset to a more balanced position through which to do more things that create joy in the world, I’ve learned to use three main tools to help me out of loops that I can’t reason my way out of. They are tapping (which you already know from Day 25), bilateral stimulation, and aromatherapy.
Finally these last two vids are from Dr. Susie Gronski, specifically to train your brain away from feeling pain (or anxiety or stress or anything that goes on loop and feels out of control).
I freakin’ love the gamifcation of this stuff, because truly, the brain just needs a nudge to go into a whole new direction — one that can allow our bodies to heal, the chatter in our minds to quiet down, and our best selves to emerge more fully more consistently — and it’s muscle building we can engage in daily (and without anyone even noticing, usually).
Mirror work. Abraham-Hicks. EFT. Bilateral stimulation. Aromatherapy. Brain games. These are all tools to help us restore our relationship with our intuitive body in magical ways. Which of these (if not all) tactics will you try? Let’s jam about it all in the comments, shall we?
All my love,
What I have to share is simple but it’s this: I am so glad I’m here. Like, just so happy to embrace this feeling, intuitive, woo woo part of me that has been so brutally shut down before by others (and then by me to stay safe) thus far in my life. That is all. ❤️
Loving you. I’m so glad you’re here too. This work is important and so are you.
So grateful gah. *tears* <3
Movie 1- so I read somewhere sometime ago that men look at themselves more in the mirror than women. Well I can state that for me this is 100%… accurate. I look back at my life as I watch this video about all the negative self talk that so many people must give themselves, and I am so grateful that I did not have this struggle in my life. My parents were so supportive, and I have always had a high opinion of myself. And what’s funny about that last statement is that I just sat here trying to decide if I should make a not serious, self-deprecating remark to soften that possibly arrogant statement so that no one would think I’m a self-important asshole. I wonder what’s up with that. I’m not arrogant or conceited, but I do sometimes feel that just saying out loud that I’m good and happy with myself needs to be tempered in order to not have a hearer or reader then turn that on themselves. Hmm. Is that an internal thing or a reaction to society today? Interesting, but I probably won’t spend much time thinking about it beyond the occasional navel gaze.
Vid 2- I gotta agree with Keith on tapping. It’s not my thing. The bilateral stimulation seems cool. I’ll have to give that a go next time I get stuck in a thought loop.
Not done with this day’s work. But gotta run. Be back later!
So, I’m glad you shared about your thought process with this, JC. Having just spent 10 days off the grid with Liz Gilbert and a few dozen women on a private island, I can say that there are issues *I* don’t struggle with that 99% of females do when it comes to our opinion of ourselves. But it’s not that I was raised in a way that made those struggles NOT happen; it’s that I’ve specifically reparented myself to fix a lot of that damage. (It’s how I know it CAN be fixed. We CAN love ourselves deeply with practice.)
But there were times during this retreat in Fiji when I wanted to soften what I said, similarly to what you’ve shared here, to try and make it not sound so self-assured or filled with enoughness. But then Liz said something that had a lot of impact around this. She talked about something she’s really great at and said, “I want you to know what it looks like when a woman says, ‘I have a mastery of this.'” BOOM. That lines up beautifully with your words here, JC. That you’re role modeling non-attachment to what others may think or how they may use your words as a weapon against themselves. And you’re not self-deprecating for the sake of softening your words. Because they don’t need softening. They’re enough.
Glad you’re gonna give bilateral stimulation a try. I love how effective it is!
Ooh, Bonnie: “I want you to know what it looks like when a woman says, ‘I have a mastery of this.'” I had to read that over a few times… it HIT HOME. I’m feeling rocked (in a big but good way). Thank you for sharing that from Liz, and thank you to JC for bringing this line of conversation up.
I love love LOVE all of these brain games! Can’t wait to randomly practice them. Also who makes your LMTFA aromatherapy mixture and where did you get the sachets? I was attracted to both of those! (of course I want to get a new diffused cuz mine kerplunked a while ago…)
❤️
I wanna say my LMTFA blend was by Zum (AKA Indigo Wild)? I can’t find it in their catalog now, but I’m pretty sure that’s where that came from!
The sachet comes from Burke Williams. They do a detox massage that comes with a gift of a thing of bathsalts and that sachet so you can detox at home as well. 🙂
Honestly, you can build your own out of whatever smells make you swoon, I’m sure! I’m so glad you enjoyed these! Obvi, I do too!! 🙂
I did one round of the mirror exercise using the affirmation script above. As I went through it and began connecting with myself it brought up some realizations about the things that were true and I knew them to be true and the things I feel I am lacking in my life. Specifically when I got to ‘I accept and use my power’, and ‘It is safe for me to speak up for myself’.
I immediately felt the realization that I have been hiding from my power and sometimes even apologizing for it and that I don’t feel safe speaking up for myself. The great thing is I know where these stem from and can actively work on them now that I’m aware.
When I got to ‘life supports me in every possible way’ I cried. It was a release. Many of us are experiencing anxiety right now with Covid-19 and shelter-in-Place orders and it has been particularly uncomfortable for me because over the last couple of years I began reducing my anxiety greatly after being diagnosed with anxiety disorder in high school, and now it’s at an all time high but presenting in different ways. I had to start back at my side job yesterday as part of our city’s phase one re-opening plan, even though the number of cases continue to climb.
It was a physically demanding shift so when it came time to go to sleep, I was out almost as soon as my head hit the pillow, but just as quickly as I fell asleep, I woke lightning fast with anxiety-my brain lighting up to tell me that the possibility I could die because of this was very real. This has become a nightly thing, but last night was the worst so far. The fear was so bad because I felt powerless. I have to work, if I don’t I lose the emergency response benefit from the government. But I don’t feel safe.
Up until recently I’ve been using the mantra ‘everything is always working out for me’, but it seems to have lost its power. The ‘life supports me in every possible way’ was a good reminder of it. I’m doing my best in a bad situation so being very gentle with myself, but I would really like to calm my anxiety. I did practice the bilateral stimulation after the mirror exercise. I used a yellow crystal as my object (symbol of wisdom, joy, and happiness and thought to clear the mind)and found it helpful. Maybe I’ll keep something by my bed to practice it when my anxiety wakes me up at night.
You can thank that new moon in Gemini IN Gemini season (double twins) for all that brain chatter. It’s why I am up after having gone to bed a few hours ago, only to have my brain go very active. It’ll settle down a bit in a few days, but hopefully knowing that lines up with the most intense of these feelings gives you some relief.
When we don’t feel safe, that’s a big one. My most frequent mantra is, “I am safe” or “We are safe” to calm the whole nervous system, as a team. I also say, “Good job, being anxious! You are trying to protect me from a threat you know to be very real. That’s so good. Well done, amygdala. But also, I have executive function, which can keep me safe using pragmatic precautions, so you can stand down a wee bit while we restore with a good night’s sleep. All is well.”
It really helps with the not pushing against it all. 🙂 I’m glad you’re taking a crystal to bed for the bilateral stimulation. It’s freaky what a never-fail that can be sometimes!
You were so right about the brain chatter-the last two nights I’ve slept much better! Might look more into the moons phases to see how it lines up with other events in my life!
Thank you for sharing your mantras. I read them befor3 my shift at work on Saturday and it really helped me get through it.
Yay!
Wow, lots of goodies packed onto this page!
Okay, mirror work is something I’ve known about FOREVER, but if I’m honest I’ve never really done it with any consistency. I followed along and did it with Louise’s video – and just that little bit – I could feel a plethora of emotions bubbling under the surface.
I’ve been doing the “body check ins’ in the morning and at night and I love the idea of having a little mirror by the bed and incorpoarting that into the check ins.
These brain games were super fun to play with just now – and the key point that Dr. Gronski made – as I was about to say, I wish I would remember to do these things – is that these are tools to turn too BEFORE I’m in an all or nothing, fight or flight situation.
I’m intriqued by the bilateral stimulation too – I mean, it makes perfect sense.
and yes, to everything else. I have some lovely scented candles burning right night – and I recently got a rose scented hand cream that I’m finding really soothes my nerves (and my hands).
Okay, mirror work…. and new tools to lean into as needed.
thanks Bon! xo
I love how much this is all resonating with you, Leah. 🙂 Thank you for reporting in! I’m excited to see how this connects, ongoing. Please keep sharing. XO
XOXO
The mirror work is fascinating. I’ve been trying out Denise Duffield-Thomas’s “this is what a wealthy woman looks like” mirror practice. And actually, the first thing I see when I get up in the morning is a mirror beside my bed. I know I’ve had a negative loop comment on my body in the morning in that mirror, so I’m going to work on changing that.
I’ve been trying tapping, so I’ll continue with that one.
The bilateral stimulation is also fascinating and so simple. I’m absolutely going to be trying that one out. I actually think I have the perfect time in mind for trying this one out. Sometimes I get a thought in my head about some particular food. Like all of a sudden I think of brownies and have trouble stopping my thoughts about brownies and just really want to eat a brownie so I’ll figure out how to get a brownie. It can feel all consuming. I’m going to try this bilateral stimulation the next time that happens.
Brain games look fun to try too. You know I love a good gamification tactic!
The only one that I’m going to skip is the aromatherapy, and that is because my husband is extremely sensitive to scents and they trigger migraines. I do have some candles that I love that have lids on them that I burn for a little bit when he is out of town (so there is time for the scent to dissipate before he returns). One in particular is a really calming scent to me. I can move that to my desk and open and sniff when I want. So I guess I’m not actually going to skip this one, but I’ll be trying it in a limited way.
Totally get that. Keith is sensitive with smells too and I love all the candles and incense and essential oils, so we have to compromise a bit on how and when I do the most. 😉 Also consider adding a drop of essential oil to your bath or to your water (read the labels; only some are safe to consume) if there’s something you really love. In fact, some of the doTerra oils help relieve migraines!! So, you could have just a whisper of a flavor that couldn’t possibly trigger that in the hubs. 😉
For SURE the bilateral stimulation was a massive breakthrough for me. I could not believe how effin’ EFFECTIVE it is — especially on stuff I’ve felt I never could turn off the loop about before. Eager to hear how that goes for you.
And yay for gamification, always! We need more of that!! 🙂
Hey Jennifer! I’ve also been doing DDT’s mirror practice as well. I thought of the same thing when I was watching the video on the mirror work. You ARE what a wealthy woman looks like! 🙂
Ah, this is exactly what I needed today… in this moment, in fact. I grabbed a little rock on my desk and followed along… and yes, it helped! (I have a small collection of rocks/gems/stones from when I was a kid, so that’s an added bonus to bring my inner child on board.)
The science of bilateral stimulation links into what I know as the “Brain Dance”, originally created by Anne Green Gilbert. Essentially it’s a series of simple movement types (often used as a warm-up) to get the entire brain firing and focused. Yes, it’s sometimes used in children’s dance classes, but it’s also been used to help patients rewire & heal brain damage/trauma. This person does a full follow-along with some elementary school kids if you’re curious: https://youtu.be/UH2xNx2t6Xw. I learned another shorter pattern too… would be helpful to do a video or type it out here?
To the aromatherapy angle- I’ve read that rosemary is equally suited to cleansing a space as sage is. And rosemary leaves & essential oil are easy to find! I’ve even put a couple drops of oil on a cotton ball and placed it over the air register or in front of a fan (no diffuser required if you don’t have… or if yours broke like mine did).
Bookmarking this page for sure.
Okay, yes. That was awesome. Please do share a shorter pattern vid if you’d like to combine this with a self-tape challenge. 😉 REALLY love this and can see how great it would be for all sorts of trauma rewiring. LOVELY! THANK YOU for sharing it!
And yes yes yes on the more common/less expensive essential oils. Peppermint is fab too, in that category! 🙂 When I want to boost some yummy smells in our home and don’t have another way to do it, I’ll take an old candle with a bad wick and put it ON THE STOVE (not on a burner) while I’m cooking something in the oven. The heat of the oven radiates to the candle and melts the wax and I can drop a little oil on that to get extra fancy. 😉 There’s always a way, right?
As wished for! https://youtu.be/Lye2pI1eMUU
(Launched at 85%, imperfect, and offered to you all anyway. But, that’s what this is all about, right? 🙂 )
Love it! This is wonderful. You are a fun teacher! 🙂 Thank you.
Ah, I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thank you! 🙂
Been all about the aromatherapy lately. Oils in the bath or shower, oils in the diffuser for naps/relaxation time. It just elevates what could be an ordinary experience into extraordinary self-care time. Like how lemon water is just regular water with high self-esteem!
When I really get down in the dumps, it can be a kind of sudden and slippery rockslide getting there. I can wake up fine and end up in bed hours later, non-verbal, almost catatonic. Something I think will really help me when I find myself in this slump, if I can’t muster the gumption to put on some scents, will be that bilateral action. You can almost FEEL yourself toggling between left and right brain as you do it and it’s pretty impossible to stay in any thought loop.
Some of the best parts about radical self-love is how it holds hands with radical self-responsibility. “I am 100% responsible for how I feel.” What a relief! And I empathize with some earlier comments I see about feeling that impulse to make ourselves smaller IN our total confidence and self-esteem because we don’t want folks around us to use that as a weapon against themselves. I felt that way a lot in earlier GIG days when I was leaving comments about enoughness and how that wasn’t particularly a struggle for me right now. But like………..that’s lame lol. I’m allowed to love myself as loudly as I please. How you take that is not my business. Which I say with love!!
Yes. When we really align with “lighthouse, not liferaft” we don’t dwarf that shine. We know it’s guiding folks who could need the inspiration. We’re not shining a light going, “Ha ha! We’re on land and you’re not! You’re flailing in the water! Sucks to be you!” We’re going, “Over here!! 🙂 We’ve got you. This way!”